HMMM (intense thinking)

Well, I am now at the point of which I wonder. Why do I even try? Honestly dating is just some sort of twisted game for us to be tortured in to submision. How are we expected to constantly go back and set our hearts free just to be burned agian and again. Its the never ending prossess. I often consider throughing out dating until I meet the uncontrolable need that we all face. The ID as we call it. However, I am for some reason unable to do this, I must continue in search of the cliche "Mr. Right" because deep down i always have believed in love. I dont like admitting it, but its true. Perhaps I'm masacistic.

In other news... I personally think that the world has far too many idiots, and lazy teenagers who wont step away from their guitar hero and rockband long enough to get some exercise and get a nice tan. There are becoming fewer and fewer athletic children. What ever happened to an imagination, the time when kids where given a teddy bear and it became the child's best friend for a couple of years. Nooooo now everybody just drops their kids in front of the electronic babysitter, and now they wonder why their children will not go outside and play. It is truly disgraceful. And to top it all nobody takes education seriously any more. Such a waste of human resources.

Why

Just when I give up on finding someone anyone, a boyfriend of any kind a guy asks me out. Now normaly I wouldnt be appossed to such a great idea, except I have always liked this guy, again not the big problem. You see the problem is that he is leaving in a few days to go to a big Unaversity in another state. Apparently he has liked me for a while and was too nervous to ask. So this is infuriating me because I have spent since january looking for a guy and a week before this one that i have always really, really liked he decieded to ask me out. This is pure torture, i mean honestly why would i find someone only to have them renched away from me. Not only taken away but to another state twenty eight hours away. And to make matters worse he is exactly my type; he is tall, handsom, very intelligent. What did I do to deserve such torchure. Is this a test from a higher being.

Oh the joy it is to be a woman.

I used to think love was the greatest thing ever. You know....that feeling...and adults tell you when your young that youll understand more when you get older. Well in recent months i have discovered that love while it is a wonderful thing but when it does not belong or is unwelcomed then all hell breaks loose. So now im pissed off. I spent the better part of my youth trying to discover love and when I finally find it I cant be with the someone that I love. And its not because he is too far no its because he is too much of an idiot. He is three years older than me and still acts like he is a 17 year old boy when what he needs to do is man up and grow up. How am I supposed to be with some one who acts like a child. I am ok with embrassing the inner child every once and a while but when you cant even do the adult thing and just deal with your problems come on. Seriously I dont know what to do with him. So finally I made the decision last week to no longer even entertain the idea of being with him. Now I do love him with every fiber of my being but somehting has got to give, I can not be with the man child. So as of this morning he and I are no longer talking and I have decided to try not to think about him for the next couple of weeks. Yeah right like thats gonna work!!!!!!!!! Well at least I actually have a great guy right now. He is sweet and cute and extremely smart and he actually acts like an adult. I dont know maybe I will fall inlove with this guy and he will be my one and only person you know that one person that you were made for to spend your lifetime with. So far so good I am meeting his mom in two weeks and he meets my mom, my dad and the extended family on monday. Oh joy that will be fun my aunt is gonna give him the tenth degree but with her its more like 360 degree lol. Oh my god I hope she doesnt question him about sex, this night is already going to be awkward I sure hope she doesnt make it any worse. God help me please. Some one say a prayer for me I am gonna need it. Well enough of my ranting for today talk to yall later which so far seems to be to my one and only follower. Well I suppose that here is a shout out to my follower, thankyou very much for reading my psychobabble.

Smile and enjoy life!

So many people complain that they dont have everything they want, but I complain because no one seems to be happy with what they have. Just be happy to be alive and be thankfull for what you have. To see the world in all its glory, to live, to breath. Is it not enough of a miracle that for some reason we exist, we have to want everything too.